Kick your shoes off, sit back and relax!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A comfy size 14......

Having had years of being laughed out of I need to exercise  more conversations like  you need to be over weight to join nananana you're not in our club your far too slim " what do you need to exercise for" duh missing the point I think! there Was times i wished I was fat

so I could say Ha! I'm fat and flabby can I join in your oh gosh I need to loose weight club!  I've always been slim and hated the term "skinny" ever since I was a small girl when people thought it was ok to discuss you out loud hahaha your so skinny your just like a stick insect- lovely!

 where as if you were slightly chubby no one was ever going to say "oh my goodness aren't you fat!" I'd walk in to a room and hear my relatives whispering those whispers that everyone can hear "ooooooh has Shelley lost weight?" then they'd expect you to grow up with no hang ups at all  viewing yourself ( that is if you could view you at all as your so thin that your wondering whether can actually seee you! viewing yourself as a normal human being. Then you get the jealousy and scowls as if you loook like this on purpose.. oh you don't ?well thats not fair either! humph! I began to hate the way I looked even though girls it seemed wished they had my body that I would quite happily have given away, I'm beginning to wonder if i had reverse anorexia when I looked in the mirror i saw skinny even though I knew I wasn't but I saw the way I looked as a negative I was the product of other peoples hang ups about their own weight! Really i was just lucky, this was me, but I was always going to be discussed after every baby I've given birth to, even though I knew  my shape had changed people would argue with me, "I bet your in your old jeans already? look at you, how do you do it?" "I'd say no My shape has changed" I'd get back" No it hasn't look at you" Ok then what ever you say after all you no my body better than me right? Wrong! so lucky me I've been average size 12 for many years- I use the term "average" loosely, phew !quick before i offend anyone! so thats me! its taken long time to get use to being ok with my body and not to be scared of my reflection
But I've had a funny moment, lately after acquiring a drawer full of size 12 jeans that only fit If i'm prepared to look like a muffin top, I'm now a comfy size 14 and have the jeans to prove it! and I love it!

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