back soon........

So today is the morning Of Willoughbys first time at pre- school, After months of the discussions and hopeful planting of the understanding that mummy is too big to come to, willoughby seems to understand and is very excited " any toys there?" he repeatedly asks! yes Willoughby lots of toys! I approached the day with my tiptoes whilst desperately trying to find a pair of female looking pants and was deliberating whether squeezing into a pair of dinosaur briefs was going to be at all possible but opting for a pair of bikini knickers instead as it seems the knicker nicker had been into my house at night or refering back to my laundry post that the helpful  laundry fairies had definately not been so helpful lately, Oh well!!!! I pack his little bag....

And wait.......... OK big build up and we approach the door to leave then of course he decides to do a poo- great thats two this morning surely this means less chance of him producing one for the lovely staff at his new preschool to change? not really a first date kind of job!!! we start our walk, willoughby is extra chatty, extra cute! he talks to me about the new born baby we met over the weekend " do you amemeber Baby Dude (Aka Jude)" yes darling I remember baby Jude" He goes on to to say " he very tiny!" "Yes he is" I reply" he finishes by adding " I not tiny I Giantmongous" hahaha Am feeling that his cuteness is helping the walk not seem so long and lessening my nerves. With Noddy in arms we walk on.....

we arrive to find the little hooks all in a row with all the names, and i attempt to try and point out which one is his and am instantly reminded of how mean people had said I was for giving him such a long name for when he gets to preschool and school it was going to be really tricky for him, of course I never dreamt the day would come. I popped his little slippers on him and after a quick gallop in the hall we were herded towards the room with lots of excited squeals  and some uncertainty , special snuggies and cuddlies hanging from little hands promising to provide all the comfort they might need in the absence of their mummy or daddy! Willoughby made a bee line for the table with the diggers placed in a tray of flour that he was sure to be wearing later. I decided that I would just leave- messing about or hanging on would only prolong mainly my nerves. " no Mummy I don't want you to go" Willoughby I will be back soon"I replyed trying to reassure him ,his voice  wrenching at my heart just a wee bit, I think the lady in charge was surprised to hear I was leaving so soon, maybe she'd be thinking "what a hard bitch", or "you can tell shes not a first time mum!" but to me it made sense ! I came home and completely out of character started cleaning and washing up, Then echos of people saying what are you going to do with your time..?????? hmmmm my time ..time... time ...Ah Thyme !!!what am I going to do with my Thyme? pick it of course and make chicken soup - why not! Then while I'm doing that I may as well think about the fact that willoughby is more than possibly going to be my last baby and I've just dropped him off in the care of someone else, the start of a new chapter, a journey! ooohhhh no and theres the tears!!!!!