How long left...?

Ok theres no denying it I'm getting greyer by the day and we all know that unless your name is Phillip schofield, a dapple grey pony or the little grey rabbit that  Beatrix potter has tenderly sketched then this is not a good look, problem with this is  having always had an anxiety related to health matters I'd always presume that I would be the one where my face would swell up or that my head would fall off and then of course how would I call for help? So would buy the lovely boxes containing a new beautiful look promising to make you look like  Davina McCall  i'd get all the neat little packages out line them up and they'd laugh at me as I read the Warnings especially written for me! Humph put it all back in the box and promise yourself that tomorrow would be better, Grrrrrrrr I have to be brave after all everyone's always says don't be dramatic Shelley It won't happen to you..... like that makes sense... so today is the day I'm going out in 45 minutes and all I can hear in my somewhat twitchy mind is My sister saying "I knew you wouldn't do it" so I force the black attractive rubber gloves on to my sweaty palms and spend the next thirty mintues with my hair covered in foam looking like an oversized icecream cone, screaming eeeekkk its itchy... can I take it off yet? How long left? and my husband Andrew now treating me like one of our children and Me actually feeling like one of the children except there's no way I'd let them drink wine, dye their hair while shaving their legs wearing black rubber gloves! Cutting it short by 5 minutes  as the uncontrollable itching and neurotic twitching has become unbearable , phew yes lets get this stuff off as I'm sure my throats started to itch now. Well I've survived and am now alovely shade of cherry brown well at least my hair is, and I know that in a few weeks time I will go through the whole bloody thing again!