Kick your shoes off, sit back and relax!

Monday, January 16, 2012

He shook in my arms.....

It was relatively early in the evening the house was calm, the house was still, we drifted into an innocent sleep, unbeknownst to us that night was about to turn so desperately needy, it was about to test our parenting  skills to the limits, we were awaken by cries of "mum, "mum" and a desperate sobbing, the kind that you know something is needed of you but you're just not sure of what magnitude , I sat bolt up right with my heart pounding, " what is it Bailey? what is it?" He stood clinging on to the door frame reluctant to enter our room, I fumble for a lighter to light the candle as the somewhat gentle glow still had the power to force your eyes shut, I beckoned him to me and he fell into my arms sobbing uncontrollably while muttering but the sobbing muffled his words and his tears ran on to my skin , He shook in my arms, I haven't held Bailey like this since he was a small boy, it was like holding a stranger, his body felt so big in my arms but he sobbed like the small boy he still was behind the masquerade of the teenager. A friend of his had entrusted him with something by text that you could only be seen as  cruel , as It was something a young boy doesn't have the capacity to deal with, something that scared him beyond words, this girl is obviously very troubled and needed help , but now we faced the consequence of her actions, my little boy crumbled in a heap in my arms with the whole weight of the world on his shoulders, I just wanted to take it away, as I rubbed his back and told him everything was ok.

We guided him through some messages to the friend, he really had turned in the little boy I once knew before our eyes, vulnerably drinking his sweet warm milk, I'm stunned of the the things that have just happen and felt this over whelming urge to just shake my head in disbelief.
I took Baileys phone from him and said go try and get some sleep, never really believing with such a heavy heart how was he to sleep but hoping that we'd eased it enough for him to feel ok, he turned to us as he left and said " thank you for comforting me" My eyes clouded over with tears, what did he believe we would do? to comfort him was what I was here to do, to protect him from harm, if he'd only let me most of the time.

This morning everything went by as normal, the normal hustle and bustle of a school morning,  but the events of the night had left me numb and overwhelmed, the responsibly was to much to bare, I seeked the help and advice of a friend, he quite rightly told us what we should do in his opinion  and this rang true, we dealt with what we needed to do, Although our actions are correct, i do hope that everything will now be ok.

 Bailey is truly an amazing young man and I am very proud of him, and as with all our children we will face the world with him.


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